Waiting for Covid-19 Results
Last week it happened, my eldest son had symptoms of Covid-19. A fever, feeling achy, and a cough. As he’s a ‘key worker’ we took him to be tested. It took five days for the results to come back.
Whilst we waited we took all the necessary precautions, isolating him from the rest of the family and extra cleaning of anything he came into contact with. We also gave him nourishing food and supplements to boost his immunity.
The thing was, I didn’t feel worried or anxious for those five days. My mind didn’t race off into the future and create whole scenarios of what could happen to my son, my asthmatic husband, and my four other children. It was the opposite, I felt calm, a sense of peace, and more connected with my son.
I’ve experienced this peace and connection before when I sat with my Dad as he lay in a hospice dying of cancer. There was no ‘racing to the future’, ‘will I see him again’ or the ‘what ifs’. Just being present in the ‘here and now’. I felt more connected in that last five weeks of his life, then I’d perhaps ever felt with my Dad.
Now I don’t always live in this calm state. When Covid-19 broke, I spent hours pouring over news stories and stats trying to work out how to keep my family safe. I tried to think about every eventuality and about how I would cope if my family got Covid-19.
To be honest it became a little obsessive and for two weeks, I lost hours and hours of every day, to Facebook and social media. I became more and more anxious, even my resting heart rate started increasing.
It seemed like I needed to read everything I could, and constantly work out the best thing to do next. What if I missed something really important?
Now I’m not going to get into politics in this article, but the slogan that comes to mind is the one that the conservative party here in the UK has released this week “Stay Alert”.
But this alert, panicky state isn’t a place to make clear decisions. It’s not helpful to spend too much time racing forward and trying to figure out all of the possible scnenarios. And if you’ve tried, you’ll know it's not even possible!
Every moment of every day is brand new. The present time is no different from how it's always been. You never did know what might happen next in your family, your job, and the world. Covid-19 has just highlighted what was already true.
But that doesn’t mean that you won’t be ok. You will always be ok, no matter what happens. A state of calm and peace is your natural state when you have nothing on your mind. When you are in the moment and not ‘racing’ into the future.
After all none of this ‘future’ reality, or ‘overthinking’ is true, it's just a made-up reality in your head. That doesn’t mean it isn’t easy to fall into the experience of anxiety, it seems so real at the time.
However when you fall out of this overthinking then you have access to infinite wisdom and clarity. You’ve probably experienced this when you’ve been trying to solve a problem, the answer comes to you when you stop actively ‘thinking’, maybe when you're out for a walk, or just falling to sleep.
Now I’m not saying don’t keep up-to-date with what’s going on, the stats, the latest guidelines, and rules where you live. If this is helpful to you, then go ahead and check.
But you don’t need to worry about how you will cope, or whether you’ll be ok, because when you are in the present moment then you’ll have everything you need and know just what to do. This present moment or reality is the only moment that you can ever live in.
“Since the past is unreal and the future is unreal all your thoughts, are about nothing”, Byron Katie
So in conclusion after 5 days, my son’s test results came back negative. The worry before about how I would cope, the made-up story in my head that felt so true was far worse than the reality.
If you are struggling with anxiety about your family, your business, or anything else, then why not get in touch. I offer a few spaces each week for those that need to talk.
You may also like to delve deeper into how your mind works with the following blog post.
