The Secret to Loving Yourself (part 2)

Actions speak louder than words. How many times have you heard this statement?

In “The Secret to Loving Yourself (part one)”, we looked at the ways to change the way you think and feel about yourself.

You might find this positive self-talk challenging at first, especially if you’ve experienced most of your adult life reinforcing your negative basis to yourself. Change always starts with an awareness, this means that noticing your self-talk might be your first step.

Sometimes however its easier for us to take action. Simply fake it to make it, your subconscious will start to get the message.

“Be the Change You Want to See in the World”, Mahatma Gandhi

Changing the Way You Treat Yourself

Try these techniques to treat yourself with kindness and respect. Just pick one and take action today.

1. Practice physical self-care. Develop habits that keep your mind and body fit and strong. Go to bed early rather than binge watching another Netflix show, it’s so tempting to watch one more episodes isn’t it? Exercise each day, take the stairs instead of the lift, enjoy a brisk walk or maybe take up jogging. Eat a balanced diet, adding lots of healthy greens can be a great start.
2. Pick friends wisely. Surround yourself with family and friends who encourage and support you. Cultivate close relationships with others who share your goals. Perhaps time for a catch up with that friend that you’ve not seen for ages, you know the one who makes you feel good about yourself. Engaging in deep conversations where you can share your feelings and receive validation is real powerful.
3. Pursue your passions. Identify the activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Block out time each week, or even each day to do something you love. Remember when you spend time creating joy within yourself, your positive feelings also spills over to those that surround you.
4. Set goals. Give yourself something to strive for. Working towards realistic and challenging goals builds your confidence as you add to your achievements.
5. Maintain boundaries. Know your limits so you can define what behaviour you consider acceptable. That may include physical boundaries such as needing your own space and psychological boundaries such as being entitled to your own feelings and opinions. A start may be the ability to say, “No” to taking more stuff on.
6. Advocate for yourself. Once you understand your needs, you can communicate them to others. You’ll grow more skilful as you practice being direct and tactful in letting someone know if they cross your boundaries.
7. Seek support. Ask for what you need. Let others know specifically what they can do, whether you’re looking for practical assistance like pitching in with housework or just a friendly ear to listen while you sort out your feelings. Asking for support can sometimes be the hardest of all these techniques. We are often conditioned from an early age to do it all ourselves and be self-reliant. However as a human we weren’t designed to do it all alone, over many thousands of years our brains actually developed whilst living in small communities. We wouldn’t have survived as a species without this support network.

Loving yourself can help you to enjoy more happiness, overcome challenges, and build healthier relationships with others. And this spreads from you to those you come into contact with.

As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the Change You Want to See in the World”