What is Transformational Coaching?
I often get asked, what is Transformational Coaching, and how does it differ from other approaches?
To answer this question, let me tell you about John…
John’s world fell apart when his partner told him it was over. Not only had he lost his partner and best friend, but John was also unfortunate that covid struck and he had to endure endless days alone to ruminate in his flat.
He couldn’t see a future for himself without his girlfriend. He believed that his painful feelings were telling him about himself and how he had screwed up.
All of this is unsolvable, even with all the thinking in the world, you can’t go back and solve the past or jump to an alternate reality in which you did things differently.
So it would be pointless to get John to reflect on his past. John's mind was already in overdrive, ‘beating himself up’.
But what if John's feelings never tell him about his past and only ever told him what his thoughts are doing in the moment?
Now I’m not suggesting changing Johns thoughts, with positive thinking or a list of ‘feel better’ practices’, this can feel like a constant battle and is exhausting to keep up.
Instead, transformation coaching works on a much deeper level to change the underlying structure and belief patterns, which keep you attached to unhelpful thoughts.
So we started working together, and things began to change. Firstly John let go of trying to solve the past, it was done and gone.
If he could go back in the past, John would have acted in the same way as he was always doing his best with what made sense in the moment.
Over several months, gradually things fell into place. John started jumping quickly out of negative thought spirals, and he slowly noticed more and more peaceful moments when his overthinking slowed down.
We looked at the possibility that he could be happy with or without his girlfriend. The love and happiness he felt when they were together, never came from her, but was always create inside of him; this was within him all the time.
He started enjoying life again, feeling better than he had done in years, and he even began speaking to a few other potential girlfriends.
Then one day, he met up with his ex, and she noticed the profound change in him. They decided to restart their relationship, without all the added stuff that had got in the way before.
I love my job; it’s a privilege to help my clients to wake up to their true self and experience a full and joyful life.
So my question for you is;
If I could wave a magic wand and your life could be exactly as you wanted it to be, what would be different?
